Leyna and I drove up to the U.P. yesterday (the upper peninsula for those of you who aren’t Michiganders), and she’s introduced me to Pinecrest, a rustic resort that her friends own, and I’m already sooooo obsessed. She’s been trying to get me up here for years and now I fully understand the appeal. We’re doing some creative work for them this week which I’m quite excited for, but really just walking around the property and seeing all of the sick-ass spots has been so inspiring and comforting. It’s also just so nice to be working from a gorgeous place. If you know anyone who wants to marry me here let me know. Anyway, I’m sure Leyna will talk about it next week so for now:
What have you been listening to?
My On Repeat playlist on Spotify has been extremely unhinged as of late, but besides all of the songs I’ve been constantly replaying, I listened to a few albums: 7 / Beach House, Carpenters / the Carpenters, Cyan / Three Dog Night
Additionally, a few listens of Private Idaho by the B-52’s because my roommate showed me some man on her hinge who said that dating him was like the first 7 seconds of that song, which is so descript in such a funny way. But that song rules and is very Halloween coded to me so it’s perfect for this month.
What have you been watching?
I saw Saturday Night and The Substance at the movie theatre, and watched When Harry Met Sally and Uglies at home. I loved The Substance even though it was nuts, I obviously loved When Harry Met Sally (because it’s a perfect October rewatch), I enjoyed Saturday Night but didn’t think it was anything to write home about, and Uglies was… really not good, lol. The music choices were hilarious to me and there were way too many hot people in a movie quite literally about people being ugly, but it was weird because I listened to the book series on Libby in the spring and had googled “will the uglies series ever become a movie” and they said Netflix had bought the rights in like 2014 but there’s basically been no talk of it since. Then suddenly it’s just there on Netflix?? So strange. In this day and age I thought a lack of publicity that extreme was nearly impossible to achieve… but I stand corrected, they really tricked me.
Sleeper hit of the week:
The term “bonker town” used by my boss. I can’t believe this isn’t already in my repertoire.
What have you been reflecting on this week?
I’ve been a certified Sad Girl my whole life (let’s blame it on the pisces sun scorpio moon combo), so I’ve always loved an excuse to relish in my feelings. Leyna’s October newsletter really hit home for me, because as I said in the WHO’S TO SAY vol.2 playlist newsletter, fall has historically been a difficult season for me. But at the same time, I’ve been feeling particularly full of life the last month or so, which is telling because it was overcast in Brooklyn for nearly two weeks straight. Unlike Leyna, I don’t mind October, because I love to be sad. And not sad in a real way (because that’s no fun), but like an emotional cosplay. It’s the same reason I sometimes feel relieved when I open my curtains in the morning to reveal a cloudy day, or why I watch the movie Closer (2004) multiple times a year—it’s cathartic without being personal. Maybe I’m secretly a masochist, idk, but I’m taking my own advice by leaning into the season in a way that feels good to me.
But the problem is… this is a fine line. I felt this way most of college: openly melancholic. But it wasn’t exactly by choice. It was constant. And once I was out of it I realized, ahhh, I was actually depressed! How’s an emo girl supposed to make it through art school WITHOUT being depressed though? But, after a couple years of post-college therapy I became much healthier mentally, and now I typically just get to dip my toe in willingly, like a psycho. But as winter creeps in I’ll have to stop soaking my feet, because sooner or later I'll get sucked under, suddenly and accidentally drowning myself. So I must indulge now, before January rolls around and I’m submerged in real, tangible grief. Before I know it I’ll be pleading for spring and biding my time by going on 6am runs in the bitter cold and listening to Rage Against the Machine until I stop anguishing. So here and now I’m attempting to savor the melancholy, almost as a way to fight against what’s coming.
What have you been reading?
I have about 30 pages left in the book Writers and Lovers by Lily King, which has been a nice read, and additionally I started listening to Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver, which I’ve heard great things about.
I also read this interview of Sally Rooney (and listened to the full interview after reading it), which I loved. I find it important (for me) to read things that are sort of anti-establishment from people who aren’t necessarily speaking in those spaces on a regular basis. I feel like in school so much of what we were taught was … but what does it mean? So to hear that she thinks of her work singularly without regard to her oeuvre or the meaning/impact it will have in the world, I find very interesting.
I was thinking about how it sometimes feels pretentious to come on here and write about my silly little life when we’re living in a world of constant crisis, but then I read this quote of hers:
“Part of what I feel is that art has a role in giving people a reason to go on, and that is an important thing in and of itself.”
Not that I think talking about myself can really be considered “art,” but I hope that our logs encourage you to reflect on the beauty in your own life and consider that art. Because it is! Life imitates art, or so they say.
I wish I could give all 101 of you a kiss on the lips to express my gratitude for you reading about MY silly little beautiful life, but I’ll get off my soapbox now. Take care of yourselves!